I'm a bad person.

I had a huge fight with my sister. We didn't get physical but I think it would have been better if we just kicked each others asses than squabbling. It made her cry causing her some breathing crisis. And now I feel so sorry that I also feel like crying. I feel bad but I'm proud enough not to say "I'm sorry".

Pride. One of my flaws. How immature, huh!

Hindi sa malala ang mood swings ko at basta na lang ako nangaaway. I just got tired of receiving earfuls every single day from our mother because of her. Lagi na lang ako ang sinisigawan at pinapagalitan kahit wala akong kasalanan. Sakin lagi nagrereklamo kahit hindi ako ang gumawa. Nakakatuliro. Ang dami laging sinasabi. Eh kanina, hindi ko alam may nilabhan pala si sister tapos hindi niya sinampay. Ayun, ako pinagalitan. I really had enough. Kaya sinabi ko sa kanya na sa sister ko siya magreklamo para hindi na umulit at wag sakin kasi wala naman akong kasalanan.

When my sis got home, ayun binungangaan na siya. Nagalit sakin sis ko kasi hindi ko man lang daw naisampay. Eh, pano ko nga maisasampay kung hindi ko alam na may nilabhan pala siya? And why can't she finished what she has started ha? Sabi niya sakin kasi pupunta daw siya trabaho. As if naman siya lang nagtratrabaho in this rotten world. Ang dami pang sinabi, na wala daw akong ginagawa sa bahay. Na gumagawa lang daw ako pag gusto ko. Nakakainis. It's all because of those damn clothes she washed. We have started squabbling and she also started crying. I got so pissed off and when I saw that she was using my bag without permission for nth time I got worse. I got the bag and threw her things on the floor. (Yea, I know, I can really be a bitch sometimes) She got angry and threw my brother's psp against the floor (it was in her bag). My mom saw it and she got angrier. Iyak ng iyak yun kapatid ko hanggang sa magsikip na yun dibdib niya. Tumahimik din nanay ko. I'm glad she got better.

I admit, I'm lazy. Pero naglilinis din ako kasi hindi din naman ako makatagal sa maduming bahay. Kaya naiinis ako pag sinasabihan ako na walang ginagawa or na wala nang "mahita" sakin. Sometimes I just want to mop around the house. Sometimes I just want to pass the day without any worries.

Sigh... I'm being childish right? I really want to cry.

When am I gonna mature? I'm so sad. Nakakahiya.

Ang gulo ng mundo. Minsan hindi ko alam kung maiinis o iiyak o kaya ay dadaanin na lang sa tawa ang lahat.